Stairway to Mordor

A parody of the song 'Stairway to Heaven' by Led Zepplin

There's a hobbit who's sure
All that glitters ain’t gold
And he’s climbing the stairway to Mordor

When he gets there he knows
He has to give up the ring
Throw it into the crack of doom

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
And he's climbing the stairway to Mordor

There's a spider on the way
That Sam’ll have to slay
'Cause you know sometimes light is not
Enough

In western lands beneath the sun
Flower will rise in spring
If you sing it will lead you to Frodo

Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder

There's a feeling he gets
When he looks to the west
And the ring it wants to
Join its master

In his thoughts he has seen
Rings of power through the trees
And the voices of elves
Who start sailing

Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it really makes me wonder

And it's whispered that soon
If they follow the King
Then the ghosts will all get to heaven

And a new year will dawn
When you get out of Mordor
And the forests will
Be without elves

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ooh, whoa, oh

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just Smeagol hiding
To steal the ring

Yes, the road it goes on for ever
And ever on
And it leads from the
Door at which it began
And it makes me wonder

Aw, uh, oh

Your head is humming and it won't go
In case you don't know
That's Gandalf calling you to join him

Dear hobbit, can you hear the voices?
And did you know
Smeagol says don’t follow the lights?
And as we wind on up the road
With the ring that don’t want to go
There walks a wizard we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How all that glitters isn’t gold
And if you listen to the bard
The truth will come to you at last
When broken sword is forged anew
The King will come to rescue you

And he's climbing a stairway To Mordor...

Thank you for the knives

Italics is normal Bakura, and bold is Yami Bakura

My mommy thinks I’m special, of this I am sure.
And as for my screen-time, I really wish there was more.
Because I have a talent, I’m sure you’ll agree
I can have full-on killing sprees!
I like stabbing and stuff
And my voice is British and gruff

So I say
Thank you for the knives with which I’m stabbing
Thanks for all the pain they’re bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a cut or a slash what are we?
So I say thank you for my knives
For giving them to me

Mommy says I drank tea before I could walk
She says I was British long before I could talk
And I’ve often wondered, how did it all begin?
Who found that accursed Millennium Ring?
I will kick that man
My mommy says that I can

So I say
Thank you for the knives with which I’m stabbing
Thanks for all the pain they’re bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a cut or a slash what are we?
So I say thank you for my knives
For giving them to me

I’ve been so unlucky, I am the teen with silver hair
I wanna stab everybody
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

So I say
Thank you for the knives with which I’m stabbing
Thanks for all the pain they’re bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a cut or a slash what are we?
So I say thank you for my knives
For giving them to me

20 things that make me grr (in no particular order)

1. The Hensh
2. Mrs Ham
3. Stupid lack of control on heaters in main school!
4. Being ignored by my teacher in art lessons
5. Dustbin men stopping the bus from getting through
6. Icy Saturdays
7. My brother (occasionally)
8. My sister (also occasionally)
9. Having to wear glasses
10. Glasses getting freezing cold overnight while camping
11. People who kill my glasses
12. Slow internet connection
13. People who only read celebrities' autobiographies
14. People who are obsessed with Robert Pattinson/Edward Cullen
15. People who watch the movie without reading the book
16. When the movie is so inaccurate it hurts
17. My dad's prejudices
18. My current lack of sweets
19. My current lack of money
20. my current lack of chocolate

Alice in Wonderland

Wow. My first ever full length movie in 3D, and I was lucky enough that it was Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.

It was brilliant, I loved Stephen Fry as the Cheshire Cat, especially when he SPOILER! and then the way he SPOILER! was also really good.

Johnny Depp was, of course, an exceptional Mad Hatter, complete with the occasional Scottish accent.

The Dormouse reminded me of Reepicheep, with his little toothpick-sword.

I want a pet jabberwock! I want one so bad...

And now to leave you with a quote; 'Doon with tha bloody red queen!'

The Wicked Witch of the Chemistry Lab

That's right; we're back to the Chemistry teacher. Today, we spent the first five or ten minutes of the lesson filling in a sheet with information from a textbook, after she'd sent someone to get them. Please note that she claimed they were on the back bench and sent someone to get them in practically the same sentence.

After the rearrangement of some of the tables, we got into a circle around the space she had made on the floor. It was then that her diabolical plan was revealed. We were to 'play a game' called 'stepping stones'. The rules of this game, for the casual observer, would seem quite simple. If your name is picked by the annoyingly loud and high-pitched 'random name generator' on the interactive whiteboard, you had to go into the middle and write one of the 'stages of water cleansing' on an A3 sheet of sugar paper, getting yelled at by the rest of the class and the teacher as you do so.

Understandably, the first person wrote 'unclean water'. You'd think that to clean water you'd have to start off with unclean water. But nooo. Apparently this isn't acceptable, as it is not a process (not that she mentioned anything about only writing down processes...). Nevertheless, this is the first. Of many.

After a few had been done, the teacher decided that the students picked by the 'random name generator' should only be writing the 'title' for each stage. There was no title for the stages either in the textbooks or on the sheet, so the poor students picked by the 'random name generator' were helped out by other members of the class.

This continued for a while, until I decided to voice my concern regarding the level of noise of the 'random name generator'. It was literally loud enough to be painful. So, I stuck up my hand and, unusually for her, she noticed it almost straight away. I asked, very politely I thought, if she could please "turn the sound on the board down." However, her responce was that if I wanted her to hear me, the rest of the class should be quiet. How exactly was I supposed to manage that, I may ask?

Anyway, we finally came to the end of the water cleansing process. Appart from missing out a step, which she seemed to be ignoring (along with comments to that effect), we thought it was all over. Oh how wrong we were. Now what she wanted was for someone to go up and explain the stage. They also, as if in year seven, had to stand on the appropriate 'stepping stone'. The first person went up, and made a comment along the lines of "Miss, there's one missing!" This was waved aside, as was every other comment made. Finally, the girl who was to do the stepping stone after the one which had been missed out was allowed to write it out.

Well, we got to the end of this. Was it the final end to this infernal 'game'? Hell no. Now the chosen people had to think up a keyword for the 'stepping stone' they were allocated. Sound familiar? It should. This is what the first people had to do. But nevermind that, eh, Miss?

This done, surely the hell was over. Still, not quite yet. The next girl had to walk down the stepping stones, reading out the keyword for each. And the next one had to do the same, only backwards (ie starting at the end and finishing at the beginning). Then she had them all turned over and the next girl had to recite all the stepping stones from memory. Whilst being timed. Now I don't know about you, but I for one am distracted from the task when being timed, especially when the amount of time I've taken is read out at intervals. So when my turn came, and I had to do the same as the girl before me, I stumbled, made mistakes, and was sent back to the beginning about three times.

Two other girls were submitted to this torture before she was, at long last, done. We then had to return to our places, and copy down the keywords. That is, after the tables had been put back where they were before. The lesson ended at 12:34 after she had taken the register (even slower than normal) and reassured herself that everyone had the homework sheet...that was set two days previously. We were finally allowed to pack our things away, and made it out of the room having lost ten minutes of our lunch-time.